So things are… good. For the most part, yeah, like good. I am working steady. I am maintaining momentum. I am doing good with the juicing and working on my blood sugar. I am really feeling the effects of juicing and a low carb low sugar diet now. I have a lot more energy, and my medical issues seem to be regulating themselves. My blood sugar has gone from over 400 down to 271 so far. No meds, no nothing. I hope it continues to drop. If I can get into the 100s by next week it will be nothing short of amazing.
I am still smoking the dread marijuana. But at a more tolerable level. I am smoking about half as much as I was. My hope is to get down enough to where I can take it or leave as I do with beer or wine.
I am now officially in two stores, I have jewelry in one shop and my knits and vintage clothing in another. I will be placing more jewelry work in a third shop next week. I am so proud of myself for this. Things are really starting to come together. My work in all respects is in demand all of a sudden! My other business venture, simple website and graphic design, PR and a la carte small biz and artist solutions is also doing pretty good. I just finished a shopping cart website for a local crafter. I am about to start another one at the end of the week. Another client called asking me to do her social media for 2 weeks. And I am meeting with my crazy artist client tomorrow – things are going much better with her as well.
I guess that whole change one thing, change everything saying is true. I chatted with my friend Stevie today. This is the person I cancelled on to help her with an event when I kept panicking and having super sad time. She runs the third shop where I will be bringing more jewelry to. She is just such a sweet amazing friend. I told her how hard things had been. That I just kind of crumbled under myself and have been working to not sink further down. She said something to me that was just like Oh wow, she gets it. She says ” I know you struggle, but you have to think of your cancer as this gift. It gave you this new way of seeing everything, feeling everything. It changed you for the better. It was a terrible thing to go through but I think it was suppose to happen and leave you with this insight. The medicine was in the poison.” She told me she thought I was amazing, to never give up and that she loved me. She is a person I met and instantly just responded to. Immediately bonded. That’s a friend. Someone who says I know you couldn’t function, and I know you’re better then that and I support you through the good and bad. And I love no matter what. It was a big smile for my heart.
In all of this madness I have had this profound shift in my life and career. As scary as taking risks are for me, I have completely changed the way I do everything and said fuck it. And it seems to be working. Depression or not. That’s just mind blowing. I also noticed in these decisions and shifts, I have walked away from an all male corporate style world full of drugs and under handed bullshit and moved into a female dominated independent world full of women who want to empower other people (notice I didn’t say other women, truly – people.)
I am finding some peace. I don’t think people are meant to live their lives like it’s a dream. Dreams are misleading, and not everyone achieves theirs. I think people are suppose to find the thing that makes them happy and do it as often as possible in between all of the struggle.
In the words of Buffy – the hardest thing to do in this world, is live in it. I’m doing my best to keep doing that.
Biggigity Switch 